Futile Conversations with an Ageing Cat

What? What!?If you think it’s breakfast time you’re sorely mistaken.

You’ve already had dinner! What are you yowling for?

It’s ten at night! You’re not having breakfast at ten! Then you’ll be demanding lunch at four in the morning, dinner at nine, and it’ll all just go on from there!

You command me not!

No, wait! I haven’t checked your rear! You know your hygiene’s not what it used to be! You want evidence, just look what you left on the monitor! Must you sit on my notebook? Must you jump on the desk? I swear, you shed more hair than you should rightly replace with ease, as you do.

And here you are now, purring away beside me, earning affection without a smidgen of effort.

And there you go, leaping to follow the next fool that passes by, ever hopeful … no, expectant … that deserved food shall ensue.

No luck …

Old Tom


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